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I have a mean case of burnout. Between work, homemaking, relationships, a side hustle, and trying to heal some deep-seated trauma, I’m kinda spent.
I spent most of last week limping to the finish line for my winter break. As of 5 pm Thursday, I have eleven glorious days where I don’t have to log in to work and check emails or respond to slack pings. I can breathe... Well, kinda.
I have the millennial mental health starter pack: depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Sprinkle in a dash of perfectionism and a pinch of workaholic tendencies and you’ve got the full picture of what I’m working with. Unfortunately, all this means that I spent the first five hours after my winter break began stressing about going back to work. I worried about all the things I wanted to/needed to accomplish over break and suddenly, those eleven days felt way too short. How would I deep clean the house, revamp the kitchen and bathroom, clean out my closet, plan my content for 2023, read my to-be-read book pile, and write while relaxing, enjoying the holidays, and catching up with family? It just doesn’t seem possible!
So I stressed. I stressed so hard, that I became overwhelmed to the point that I couldn’t do anything but mindlessly scroll TikTok and berate myself for not starting on any projects. And then a girl popped up on my screen with an invitation to join her for a round of “butterfly breathing,” a form of self-regulation and bilateral stimulation (similar to EMDR). I paused and did the exercise with her.
Immediately, I felt the tension drain from my shoulders and the tightness in my jaw soften. I was relaxed enough to focus, to get up, to get started.
Now, I know that this one exercise won’t resolve my burnout, but it did help me manage my stress so I could function. Thanks to that, I was able to sit down and write up a list of topics I want to discuss with my therapist tomorrow.
If TikTok creator @Ganstafemme had not posted her video, my night would have kept that horrible energy until I finally fell asleep. But thanks to her, my whole night turned around and I was able to find ease and peace as I crawled into bed.
