Why Self-Care Is Actually Really Hard
It’s not all bubble baths and face masks
What do you think when you hear the term “self-care?” Do you imagine spa days? Vacations spent lounging in posh hotels? Do you think of ordering food and lying on the couch while you stream the latest offering on Netflix? Curling up with a good book and a mug of steaming tea?
The term is everywhere these days, but I learned about it from a self-help “guru” on Instagram. This woman talked about the importance of “treating yourself” and preached the benefits of a semi-regular glass of champagne as a form of self-care. After coming across a number of similar posts touting the value of shopping trips, naps, and lingerie, I started to think of self-care as anything that made me feel good.
But that’s not entirely accurate. Self-care is doing the things required to further your mental, physical, spiritual (and I like to include financial) wellbeing. While that may include a bubble bath here and there, it also includes making intensely difficult life changes. For example, my self-care requires that I practice setting boundaries with the people in my life. That means consciously changing how I interact with my friends, my parents, even my partner.
That might be easy for some people, but I’m a trauma survivor with a deep-seated fear of getting…
